i'm ending this blog. i've contemplated for it a long time, and i've finally decided to let it rest in peace tonight. because i can't seem to derive pleasure from this any more.
roomie asked the other day, "have you always been this quiet?" i finally admitted to myself that no, it's just that it's so much easier to not say anything at all. because when you talk or interact with other people, bonds are formed. and once these chains are put in place you can't move an inch without rattling those steel cords and irking someone.
i don't know how joshua does it, but i can't blog irreverently anymore. things that weigh on my mind, i can't blog about it because.. nvm it doesn't matter. sometimes i'd swear half my soul is somewhere else, sucked into a black hole, because nothing seems to matter any more. i'm physically here, but the heart's just not in it, but neither is it anywhere else; i have no idea where it is.
it's been a lovely 1.5 years, this blog. maybe i'll pop by the archives sometimes when i'm feeling nostalgic. to everyone who's reading this, thanks for patronising. to those who may msg or email me, thanks but please don't be alarmed if i ignore it. don't worry i'll live =)