and so i turn 21. strangely, not much feeling. it's just another day, another reflection of all that has happened in these few short yrs and the slow onset of horrific realisation that so much more can happen in the next 50 yrs or so. yep ever the optimist =)

but enough about that.

my neighbour jumped the other night. i never really noticed her, partly cos i was never at home, partly cos i was a selfish, ignorant person. i heard she was depressed, i heard she frequently tried to get attention, but i never really bothered. and apparently many people felt the same, and now she's gone.

i'm not quite sure what i want to say through this.

to be so sure that there's absolutely nothing left to live for. to climb up and over the railing, clutching the peeling paint. to gaze at shenton way, one last time. to steel yourself, and give a little push so you won't hit the concrete drain. i wonder what went through her mind those last few seconds. regret? relief?

joy?

depression turns your mind inwards. you can't help but see only your dark, unlit world. you'll never see how much it can affect those around you, even those who aren't close to you, much less those who do care.

futile as it is, i'd sincerely like to wish for one thing today. world peace.
may there be light to everyone.