.. was at the a&e ward at ttsh on mon, to visit someone. thankfully, it apparently wasn't serious but they just wanted to make sure.. i rushed down that night with my bro, only to be told by the nurses there that only 1 visitor was allowed in. and so i spent anxious hours waiting outside 7-11 alone, mind running wild with endless scenarios playing out, and praying to every God i knew of to spare me of any more such pain and agony, to keep every single person i know now beside me for ever and ever. yes that is selfish and ridiculous of me, but right now i know of nothing else that i want more. there was a survey done recently, asking people how much of their life they would sacrifice to attain a particular beauty attribute. one man said he would sacrifice 45 years of his life for everything on the list. i would gladly give 45, or even more, years of mine in exchange for my loved ones' longevity. is that what love is about? selfishness? i would rather you suffer my departure than i yours. waiting at the a&e area really shoves mortality right in your face- there were ambulances coming in every 15min, and the wards inside were so full that there were patients in beds placed in the tentage outdoors. today's moral of the story? i don't know.. maybe if just for a while, for at least this minute or so, forget all your petty things and pray for all that you love or know, and for those that you don't too.