came across this while researching for my GE project on lucian freud (note: this is one brilliant yet seriously weird bugger. he's sigmund's grandson, and his paintings are.. well go check them out yourself. nudity aside, his art pieces are really quite amazing.. they reveal more than just physical appearance, but also somehow manage to potray the emotion beneath the surface. btw he's the one who did the controversial portrait of queen elizabeth a few yrs back.. hehe apparently someone said it looks like jack nicholson in drag. )

this's some part about sigmund freud's psychology work.. it's like my textbook- i know something's important here, but i'll need to read it a couple of times before it sinks in and starts to apply itself to my context:

When the "shadow of the object falls on the ego," there are different ways to avoid self-reproach and "disturbance of self-regard" without over-identification with the forsaken object and ways to get over one's ambivalence without lapsing into narcissism of melancholia, or sadism turned into masochism resulting even in suicide ("Hamlet" as example). The solutions are neither mania nor ravenous object cathexes in transforming "the economics of pain." There is an exit in mourning rather than melancholia (the modern clinical term is now depression), for "clinging to the object through hallucinatory wishful psychosis,"--futile dreams of restitution of the lost object--so that the ego can become free and uninhibited again in order that there there be nothing about the loss which is unconscious. (Later called ego flexibility, mobility). Object loss does not have to become ego loss, full of self-torment and a punitive superego and can be without the necessity for oral cannabilistic introjection with the inability to abandon this libidinal position "not even, indeed, when a substitute is already beckoning to them."

hope you got it earlier than i did.. big words indeed.

contrary to popular belief, i am still keen on continuing this blog. it's just that weeks fly by w/o me noticing.. *blissful ignorance, followed by mounting horror* 2 weeks to the exams. two, deux, dos, dua etc, a thorn by any other name..
but joyous thoughts aside. hehe apparently i'm just 2 months away from winning a certain award from paveena, some title i'm not exactly elated to have but then again it's none too bad either ;) the mysterious award? well if i do get it i'll blog another entry then. and veen don't u go spoil the fun by revealing it =P
and it's two months to christmas! looking fwd to lovely songs over the radio.. has anyone heard chris martin's version of "have yourself a merry little christmas"? my fav band, singing my fav xmas song.. what can be better than that? i'll be glad to send the file to you, if u wanna share the joy. now if i can just survive the exams..

exams in 1 month's time. omgomgomg.
*breathe*
this sem has passed way too fast.. think so too? hm.
maybe should just take one day at a time. this way, the period might seem longer, more stretched out. savour every day, hour, minute.
sigh
-theory of relativity-